NEW DELHI: India lost its collective shit on hearing the
news of Steve Jobs, founder of Apple Computers, Pixar Studios and the bald
reincarnation of Jesus having passed on. Jobs, usually looked at with disdain by
Indians for not giving a rats ass about their market had long been battling
with cancer that also recently led him to resign as CEO. Doctors admitted what
finally pushed him over the edge was seeing Kapil Sibal launch the 47$ Akash
tablet, and that his final words were “Oh for fucks sake”.
Mactards across the country, most of whom had sold their
mothers kidneys to buy their first Apple product rushed to post condolence
messages on Twitter and link Jobs’ Stanford commencement address on Facebook.
Raghu, a self confessed Mactard had this to say. “Jobs was a genius. Everything
he created beautiful, unique and out of the box. But most importantly, he used
Gandhi in the Think Different ad, and you gotta love folks that love Gandhi. Heck,
when Jobs got skinny he even looked like him”.
Jobs, who took Apple to being the World’s most valuable
technology company under his leadership is also credited for being the first
man since Lenin to successfully convince millions of people into thinking they
were part of a hep, alternative counter-culture while being slaves to a hegemonic
controlled ecosystem built on the backs of underpaid labourers.
Other immediate consequences of his passing included
thousands making horrendous “Job” puns in jokes they thought had never been
cracked before, and mistakingly buying Rashmi Bansal’s Stay Hungry, Stay
Foolish thinking it was Jobs’ biography. Some political activists in Mumbai also
started beating up auto-drivers citing Job’s advice to “never settle” and
always “follow your dreams before it’s too late” while proudly proclaiming that
they too, were college dropouts.
Condolences also poured in from celebrities. Former Indian
cricketer Nayan Mongia said, “While I am sorry to hear about the loss, I hope
perhaps now the App Store might approve my iGo app”. Dev Anand also announced
plans of writing, directing, producing and starring in a biopic on Jobs’ life where
he would essay the role of an Apple TV – which like him was pointless, but
still around because of its cheap asking price.
Thank you Mr. Jobs, your life will always be an inspiration to those of us who live to create and fight to do it, hoping someday, if we're worth it, it would pay off.
This post was written on a Macbook Pro.
=)) @ iGo
ooh. dev anand should do a biopic on jobs and he should play jobs!
lolz..liked that Raghu thing! Nonetheless his demise was sad. Saw him on standford lanes on May 26th(in his ever'green' 'blue' jeans,week before Lion OS launch.looked thinner and weak. RIP Jobs and ya i did not share his standford speech 'again' haha
Written on a Macbook Pro
@ Chirag - Yeah man, been bummed myself all day. Sad, sad day indeed.
Just wondering MMS and Pratibha patil did not release any statement yet,its their favourite 'JOBs' after all :P
Life goes on.....
Guess what!!!!!!!! I was waiting for this post after seeing so many Indians mourning his death....while the fact is that an average Indian cant afford an iPhone or Macbook Pro...
The fact is no body gives a fuck even if he is alive... Average Indian will go on using Akaash and micromax.
You killed it! The Nayan Mongia app deserves careful consideration after this.
Wonder what Arnab man had to say?
Vijay
good satire,nd its funny to see majority of indians who hate their jobs paying tribute to jobs and fwding and reading the stanford speech for millionth time,i know ppl in my office who keep looking at clocks the moment the step into the office and then they celebrate TGIF and go to treks on weekend to feel gr8 ,lol such mediocrity and no wonder we are top body shopppers in the world
last line was the fitting finish.the khamba flavor as usual ;)
What did one unemployed cancer cell say to the other?
Let's go get Jobs.
Ahhh been dying to put that SOMEWHERE.
Thank you.
I don't want to be stomped to death but the more I read about Steve Jobs the more I think that he was really the HR guy.
eeeuuwww - that's humor? I guess extreme cynicism makes the world go round for some.
Haha, I loved the comparison between Dev Anand and the Apple TV. A device not many know about, an actor, not many care about ! :D
dead people humor FTW! and yes they better make iGo soon, dhoni needs some inspiration these days i hear
Lou xD
@Somisetty what do you mean by..that he was a HR guy? he was a fantastic designer n visionary! ye HR guy kya hota hai?
Ha ha, had almost forgotten Nayan Mongia and his 'iGo'!
You are underwhelmed, under impressed and not taken in by the hype. Yet he induces u to write a 500 word essay on which all of 18 people commented ( including me ) while almost half a billion register a comment on the mans death...and u don't think he influenced "a hep, alternative counter-culture while being slaves to a hegemonic controlled ecosystem built on the backs of underpaid labourers."? thank ur stars he wasn't a politician- he could have become your next master
@apoorva. lol. Am plagiarizing your comment
@apoorva. lol. Am plagiarizing your comment.
In bad taste.The guy died just a few days back. Ur satire or whatever crap cud have waited for sometime.
Indeed a good post !!! Enjoyed iGo as much as Mactards and loved the last line...tht u said something abt inspiration From Mr. Jobs...
I have question.. does is feel different when you wrote it on Macbook pro ??
@Rahul M ...absolutely spot on. I know this is not the write place to debate this whole body shopping issue but I totally agree.
Loved your straight line cause-effect :)
After bashing Steve Jobs and Apple's policies throughout your rant, why the 'RIP Steve Jobsesque disclaimer in the end, after the rant? Do you have to rant because you like the publicity and space it gives you..?
And the fact that this was written on a Macbook Pro, which you probably like, which is why you'd spent the 1 lac plus rupees buying it.. so you are part of the mactards who end up buying Macs. Did you sell off your mother's kidney, it begs to be asked?)
And why the whole sneering, condescending, smart alec-ky tone, which you have laced up your discourse with? why? Basically, you are a nothing but an annonymous couch surfer, a bed bug, who bites people while they're sleeping in the night and runs and hides away.
I guess you could say, that I feel you have no respect. Steve is a genius..the macbook pro u are sitting on and typing in, has been designed by him..show some respect. Or if not, just simply, stop trying to be a smart alec.
He gave me great inspiration,
a strong commitment to our abilities and skills can make a difference through
the always taught me that someday I can make something spectacular like geugahaetdeon hope,
Apple connection is almost old-century.
I've used Apple laptops and desktops. I always have with me the iPod and soon the iPad would like to purchase,
It was not all. Social networking sites were buzzing as a triute.
That define the history and evolution are three apples one drive, eat off the second,
third, Steve Newton was provided by the world,
All records were broken with 10,000 tweets.Apple has changed the computer. IPod has changed in the music,
the iPhone has changed mobile phone Steve Jobs has changed the world." Debt tweeted.
"Steve Jobs can live for us" smart "taught me how he was a genius"
love sms
Found your blog on indi. Not surprised that it is among the top rated :)
I love Mumbai though :P
Lovely tribute to Mr Jobs :)
I've been a loyal iPod user for years :)
If you could spare a few minutes, could you read a post of mine? And if you like it, give it a vote? I'd be most grateful, really really grateful :)
http://www.indiblogger.in/indipost.php?post=90039
He is an inspiration for all of us to excel ourselves. But he was also most selfish person, declining to accept his own daughter. His products though stand for elegance, are also ridiculously expensive
all you steve jobs fans, just chill the hell out. He was a genius no doubt but he did nothing for free. And all that khamba has written about his 'magnanimity' and 'love' for India and Indians is kinda true. So really guys. Save your tears. And learn to take a joke.