Dave Chappelle has a great bit about how Michael Jackson “conveniently” seemed to jerk off another child everytime the U.S. government was in trouble with regards to domestic policy. And while we go through a parliamentary deadlock, sham CBI raids into those connected with the 2G spectrum, run through the motions outraging over the lack of progress in the CWG investigations – we have conveniently managed to receive one major foreign leader after the other whose handjobs have made us orgasm shouting “Superpower” while we spit our load as far away as the U.N. Security Council.

These visits have almost been like those cheap entrapment scenes in Hollywood (and now Bollywood) movies. Rich actor with low self-esteem wanting to be recognized for all he is worth gets fascinated by the promise of a hottie in a bar. He manages to bring her home and she does what he wants him to. He falls asleep – having forgotten his internal conflicts and turmoil for those few fleeting seconds – only to realise that the woman didn’t really love him. All she wanted was his money and resources, which she conveniently ran away with.

And in this long list of leaders we have Wen Jiabao.

(I wrote about one and a half pages of what turned into an essay on my personal experience working with Chinese students and how the Indo-China joint statement is horseshit. But I’m going to hold it back till Wen Jiabao’s gets done with his visit to Pakistan. I might then upload a post on Why the Chinese suck. Till then, enjoy the Top 10 things Wen Jiabao will never say in India)

  • Next year Confucious Peace Prize to Arundhati
  • China world largest democracy. Election like in Congress party.
  • Liu Xiaobo like Chetan Bhagat. Writer best in jail
  • India like Kabaddi. Many player no balls
  • China plant million bombs in India already. Call Micromax
  • Confucious say - WTF is Chicken Manchurian?
  • India youth greatly contributing China economy. Many IIPM student at Fu Chow restaurant, Shenzen
  • Delhi so many beggar. Remind of Obama trade delegation
  • China condemn attack on it female citizens in Delhi. Shame
  • Rahul be Bilawal best friend. No talent but guarantee future PM