The title of the movie doesn’t need to have any correlation with the movie as long as you show something connected to it in the first or last frame of the movie. Consequently, you could have named this movie “Mermaids”, given how the love affair starts and ends in the sea. Personally, I would have shown a cat in the first frame and called the movie "Pussy".
You can openly sell pirated DVDs in front of Casinos in Vegas.
Kabir Bedi left his gig in the Bold and the Beautiful only to become Las Vegas
To be the son of the city’s biggest industrialist obviously means you will be promiscuous, an alcoholic and a wife beater. Not to mention supremely ugly as compared to the main lead. Also, whichever character is named Tony always turns out to be ch*%$ya.
Immigration officers in the United States
If you are caught counting cards, you will be shot to death by casino authorities.
Yuri Suri, despite being sent on a pilgrimage to Mecca
Cyclone Laila is a consequence of Hrithik's sadness.
Cyclone Laila is a consequence of Hrithik's sadness.
To seduce a Latin woman, you need to be an expert in making shadow puppets.
Hrithik Roshan’s nipples invert while turned on.
Cops from the LVMPD are not trained to shoot a 50 foot hot air balloon from a distance of 10 metres.
Cops from the LVMPD are not trained to shoot a 50 foot hot air balloon from a distance of 10 metres.
Indians wear monkey caps and gloves in the middle of the Nevada
The chances of bumping into an Indian who speaks Spanish is the middle of the Nevada
Cars, while being transported from one location to the other on an 18 wheeler come equipped with a full tank of gas.
Hrithik Roshan will make an excellect surdie if he wears a turban with his beard.
It takes one week to get a brand new Mexican passport.
Even without any dialogue, Kangna Ranaut is shriller than the anti-Facebook lobby in Pakistan.
Taran Adarsh sells his soul faster than a Chinese factory replicates the latest Prada bag.
The only Anurag you should bother spending money on is Kashyap.
PVR Rivoli has really spruced up its act as compared to when it ran morning shows and each man would sit leaving a gap of one seat between them (in case of bodily projectiles).
Bandiyon ke chakkar mein naa hi pado to accha hai. Nahin to jaan se haath dhona padega.
Image courtesy www.bollywoodhott.com
Money saved...:P
aur bandiyon ke chakkar mein na pado, toh jahaan se haath dhona padega! Toh kya zyaadi pyari hai? Jaan ya Jahaan?
Just to show how inane that comment is, or any random bullshit comment can :P
wow so many smart quips, i guess this was more interesting than the movie itself.
What was truck driver doing when Hrithik, our hero was throwing cars from his truck :?
Nobody has anything to say good about this movie!
The only Anurag you should bother spending money on is Kashyap.
so true so true. im going to be posting this link on the walls of all my friends asking me to watch this movie
>Hrithik Roshan’s nipples invert while turned on.
seriously ? instead of watching Barbara Mori (only thing worth watching in the movie) u were watching Hrithik's nipples...geez. Actually this was one of the best comedies (unintentional ofcourse) i have seen in a long time !! ending is the most "creative" ending i have ever seen ! lolz
exactly my sentiments..
esp. this .>
"The only Anurag you should bother spending money on is Kashyap."
this movie is over-hyped even after its release..
people say "its different" but its not good...
waste of money.. if the story and dialogues were good..we could ignore it being dumb..
but no...
Bollywood movies these days have only 25% of the dialogues in Hindi. Rest is English and subtitles.
@ Devil - I got some free passes from a friend as well. Got saved!
@ Megha - What? Didn't get it.
@ splitt - Yes.
@ Nona - Except movie critics who sold out.
@ Nishtha - Haan, pliss to promote as much as possible :P
@ Kon - I don't find her that hot to be honest. She's pretty but nothing spectacular. Have seen better looking Latina women before.
@ Sankoo and Arun - Well, it is different in the sense they took a "risk" with sub-titling etc. Not the easiest thing to pull off in our market.
i think the film lacked a strong influential character.. like jadoo..
3 more things:
- Rakesh Roshan believes in re-incarnation as he has demonstrated more than once. SRK in Koyla= Hritik in Vegas and Madhuri= Mexican Chori, er, Mori.
- Shooting a sequence that is blatantly plagiarized frame-to-frame (the shootout in the end, no pun intended) is always a 'Homage' or a 'Tribute' to the original work.
- When there is no hope in life, jump off a f*cking cliff. Literally.
@Suvayan Bala and my dear all:
Only as because the lead actor of Kites didn't complain about being manhandled at an US airport,or didn't move from city to city in disguise to create hype in favour of the forthcoming movie, his movie should be considered all gibberish.
Here are some FACTUAL responses to some of the queries made by my dear friend Suvayan about the movie KITES:
@Casino killing: Believe it or not casino killing do happen. The capital that runs a casino, is generally accumulated by so called "transnational" companies(actually run by mafias) from poor south american and African nations,rich in mineral store like diamond,ruby etc. These casino authorities have two things in common, Vengeance and brutal killing patterns. These groups are so powerful that they maniputale governance and government of countries at free will. Please do read this article,which I am sighting as just an example.
SHOCKING MURDER AT CASINO.(http://newspapers.nla.gov.au/ndp/del/article/1312471)
@fake marriage for avoiding immigration complication: Well, This is a prevalent loophole in US federal system and Canadian marriage bureau who do not maintain a centralized database of marriage(allowing to marry anyone any number of times at different offices). And again, even if a marriage is illegal,Federal law cannot prosecute the defaulter as "living Together" is not illegal by it. For reference,please do read
Fake Marriages-“A Challenge To Canadian Immigration Policies” (http://www.canadaupdates.com/blogs/fake_marriages_a_threat_to_canadian_immigration_policies-8655.html)
@monkey cap in Nevada desert: Contrary to our common perception, not all deserts are hot. And as for Nevada, Nevada is predominately a plateau. The eastern part has an average elevation of between 5,000 and 6,000 feet. The western part is between 3,800 and 5,000 feet, the lower limit being in the vicinity of Pyramid Lake and Carson Sink. The Nevada is a desert of temperature extremes and four distinct seasons. Winter months bring temperatures dipping to below 20 °F (-7 °C) on valley floors, and below 0 °F (-18 °C) at higher elevations. And at -7C, it is not very improbable for a man not to wear a protective cap.And for a Beanie(Popularly called monkey cap in India), Beanies probably got their names from the slang term "bean," which meant head in the early days of the 20th century in the United States.Please do read:
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mojave_Desert)
@GAS FILLED CAR ON A TRAILER: Yes, to our another surprise,gas filled cars are transported as very high end luxury cars like Bentley,Benz D series sedans cannot maintain their fully automated Internal Combustion engines Internal pressure without gas in tank.The gas that actually drives the car in KITES can be considered as "reserve fuel" of Idian version cars. Please do watch:
Film 2012
All other comments are personal perceptions. I will refrain from commenting on them. Only I will add some of my personal comments:
1.Bollywood, for the first time doesn't copy acting and presentation from Hollywood. FOR THOSE WHO THOUGHT THAT SO CALLED "BOLLYWOOD BADSHAH" WAS ELEMENTARY IN HIS APPROACH TOWARDS ACTING IN "MY NAME IS KHAN",
DO WATCH "A BEAUTIFUL MIND".THE EXPRESSIONS ARE ALL "BLATANT COPIES".
2.Its more of a poetry,that has been filmed.
3. Do not COPY/BLINDLY BELIEVE what media says. Follow own instincts.
Compiled all by Myself. Informations, Generously Borrowed from
INTERNET
Haven yet got time or the privilege to watch this oh-so-hyped movie!
@ Debopriyo
1) Who the fuck is Suyavan?
2) I hate Shah Rukh Khan too. And your favourite lead actor has been in the news for this movie for a lot longer than SRK for MNIK. Might want to jog your memory and check the archives from a year back when his marriage *allegedly* started going off the rocks. Then he started hitting media people while we went to a religious pilgrimage to ask for blessings for the success of Kites. Ofcourse, now that we have seen the movie, you can't blame him for asking for divine intervention.
3) I really want to make fun of your grammar - but mine isn't perfect either. That said, yours sucks more than mine.
4) About your facts - Why the fuck are you supplementing your casino killing research by linking an article about an incident in Australia? Even though there is a truth to linkages with the mafia and drug money - a lot of how early Vegas came into being, casino killings are shown as if they are a common rampant practices across casinos in Vegas. That, let me assure you, is bullshit of the highest order given the criminal justice system within the States. You get into shitloads of trouble, even roughed up - but no one randomly pulls a piece and kills anyone "caught cheating".
5) Fake marriage - Thank you for illuminating my sorry Punjabi ass who obviously has no inkling about illegal immigrants from my home state who land in the US. First, you would do better to link an article relevant to the United States instead of Canada. Two, even if things are as shitty as they are (despite ummm..9/11 and the latest anti-immigrant law in Arizona, a state they cross at will without papers in the movie) the fact that someone can do it without getting caught 11 times is utterly ridiculous.
6) The weather - First, thanks for telling me what a Beanie is. I ofcourse, have never travelled outside the country and don't have access to internet. Secondly, please refer to the following link:
http://www.wrcc.dri.edu/narratives/NEVADA.htm
Las Vegas, as you will notice, is near the Southern part of Nevada. To paraphrase the link "Summers are long and hot". That said, even if it is cold, and there is a need for him to wear it (despite none of the other actors needing to keeping themselves warm) it doesn't seem to say much about his sense of hygiene given that he wears the same shit while randomly walking about in Vegas.
7) The Gas - Even if the cars do have reserve gas, I doubt they will be willing to travel that much distance given the impressive mileage American cars consistently display. Also, WTF was the driver of the truck doing while people were randomly releasing all his cars on an the open roads?
8) Poetry being filmed? I'm guessing you've never read a Keats stanza in your entire life.
9) I did follow my own instincts. So did everyone else who hated this tri-lingual piece of shit. Though I think you might have believed the media on this one, given how Tarah Adarsh and company gave the movie 3 stars.
10) Bollywood for the first time doesn't copy Hollywood? Are you fucking shitting me? What planet are you from? Please read the reviews in the NY Times, LA Times, Seattle Weekly etc (They give references to Hollywood plot-points that have been copied. Plus you won't feel bad reading those because for some reason those reviewers like the movie).
"Please read the reviews in the NY Times, LA Times, Seattle Weekly etc (They give references to Hollywood plot-points that have been copied. Plus you won't feel bad reading those because for some reason those reviewers like the movie)."
Those reviews are positive, but they are also incredibly patronizing & condescending. They all say that Hrithik looks good, but other than that they are really being careful as to not say what they actually think of the movie - so as to not come off as elitist or offend the asian people who love bollywood.
Had the same movie been made by hollywood producers with hollywood actors, they would have shred it to pieces for being utterly superficial.
ouch
@ Kiran - Agree with you - which is why I referred those reviews to Debopriyo, that he would still manage to stay calm given their "positive = lack of saying anything negative given that its a 150 word reviews" while also talking about the predictable and oft repeated plot points.
That said, 85% on Rotten Tomatoes for this crap. Felt like I woke up in bizzaro world.
@Khamba
OWNAGE! I love the hate comments. They are hilarious to read and it's fun to own them. Also, this guy gave me some fodder for an article of mine.
Rajeev Masand rated this 3/5. WTF?Rotten Tomatoes probably gave it the sympathy vote.
I cannot believe this wannabe piece of bullshit had takers! 1 moment there were people in what's-her-name's house in the middle of nowhere, next moment they have a wedding, and the next moment the guests vanish and they're making out in the attic ? WTF? Or maybe I slept through bits of it. I don't know. And Jamal is ready to risk everything for someone he doesn't even know. Now THAT makes sense.
The saving grace was Hritik killing himself. Very satisfying.
*OWNAGE! I love the hate comments. They are hilarious to read and it's fun to own them. * :)
Khamba is a real comic relief. And most importantly,a bit too vulgar in his approach towards the language. And an idiot who doesn't understand the relevance of Canada in us law. And for casino, these casinos operate in chains, under same proprietorship, across nations.Do read bbc.co.uk. For khamba this nice piece of information may do:
According to information available with Businessofcinema.com, Kites saw a drop of around 10 - 15 per cent across metros on Saturday as compared to Friday. However, the drop in the interiors was steep on the second day. The movie received major flak from exhibitors in the Tier II and III cities as the spoken language in the film is primarily English rather than Hindi.
Presumably khamba's perception too,was lost in translation. :)
Don't worry bro, u just need to give swearing a rest and take up a wren and martin
@suvayan: He is one of the *reviewer* who just managed to copy your *shitty review* and copied it into my own blog site. (the best part, he mentioned the source)
@ Debopriyo
Ok, I concede I am not an expert when it comes to Canadian and U.S. (notice how it's supposed to be spelled) law. I even agree to the creation of Las Vegas being fuelled by a lot of drug money etc.
But the premise of your argument i.e. Casino killings are very common in Vegas (because of links you gave me talking about an incident IN FUCKING AUSTRALIA) and your stellar knowledge of the American justice system (this time supplemented by nothing, presumably because you're too stupid to find it - try the state statute first btw as compared to the federal one) is obviously something I cannot argue with. Thus, I declare you the winner of this debate despite having debunked every ridiculous argument you could come up with. I'm generous like that.
And the remaining part of your defence is built around the fact that I abuse a lot? That I'm vulgar? To that I'll say, Fuck off.
I checked your profile and see that you created a blog in May 2010 which has only one post i.e. the one you copied earlier and got your ass handed to you with. I also like the title "The war ain't over till the fat lady sings". What is about you guys that everything has to be turned into a war? Communist this, Naxal that. I just don't understand it. You're willing to goto war over a crappy Hrithik Roshan movie? Are they paying you or do you really not have a life?
Also, thanks for the link regarding the amount of business the movie it. It has reinforced my faith in the Indian audience that they can smell bullshit from a mile away no matter what language or packaging it's in.
P.S. Besides vulgar English and tapori Hindi, I also wasted 6 months of my life learning Spanish. Trust me when I say - translation wasn't an issue.
Beautiful locations,good actors/director/producer/sleek production with stunning photography but, alas all these does not take the movie forward to make it extraordinary. If you have seen Bunty aur babli, Quamat se Quamat tak & Dhoom 2 than this movie does not have anything beyond these movies mentioned above.
@ Khamba, If you cannot search a BBC website, its not anyone else's fault. Then again, I simplify this for you my friend:
"In the United States, civil marriage is governed by state law. Each state is free to set the conditions for a valid marriage, subject to limits set by the state's own constitution and the U.S. Constitution" [First Restatement of Conflicts on Marriage and Legitimacy s.121 (1934)]. (This might be a credible source,The U.S. Constitution?).
And for my blog: It doesn't makes a sense that if if I am not blogging in the portal you do, I am not a blogger.:)
@Communism & Naxalism : Well, I'll request you to just go through "Das Capital" or some works of "Gorky",rather than exploring Tapori Hindi or imperfect Spanish, before you comment.
Lets face the fact, yellow journalism has shown its fangs in India(as it has always done), which has resulted in kites getting better review from NW Times, LA Times than from Indian press. But this is the way we follow, reverberating what the almighty(read Indian media) says, burying our own instincts.
C'est la vie(such is life)
@ Shri Ram - Sir I think you're insulting the movies you mentioned later by comparing it with this. The cinematography was quite cool though thats true.
@ Debopriyo - Dude! Are you real?! I just told you the exact same thing! How does telling me which subject marriage laws come under prove any of what you were saying?!
About your recommendations for curriculum - I don't know which school you went to, but they're a fair part of most kids high school education.
To conclude, I must say that I don't have much of a soft spot for trolls. I think you've made enough of a jackass out of yourself already. So instead of bothering with your comments, ill let the municipality do their job and take out the trash.
Future trolling, ofcourse, will be rejected outright.
@khamba - inside job between u and deboprio to increase hits to ure blog and in turn give him a start on his??? hahaha - good shit though! me likey. jokes apart, been following ure blog since a frnd forwarded the open letter to Sania piece.. been a fun activity whilst faking work.. (note to self - change name to anonymous next time)
in short- excellent work, keep it up!
I think those who are following american reviews are ignoring the fact, the US version is edited by Brett Rattner(not that it necessarily makes it anymore interesting). So its shorter and different than the Indian release. it would be interesting to watch both the versions just to spot the difference.
or perhaps i would conclude the american reviewer dont quite understand how to take the bollywood kitsch. enjoy it or take it seriosuly. kinda like the kungfu movies ..
Another pain was Hrithik making an intentional attempt to show-off his toned body like Sallu mia..goshhh ..i hate that
http://hellisnext.blogspot.com/
The US news agencies hire people with sexy British accents as their field news reporters.
Why do I think the Debopriyo-Khamba war is a bit like the supposed Mori-Roshan love affair. if not, then congratulations for being cited in other people's blog posts.
i would sooo love to post this on the Kites fanpage on facebook. :)
well i like your blog..but have to say whatever you wrote about kites is wrong. if you pin point every thing in a movie, you are not borned to be entertained by movies, don't watch any movie.
by the way didn't u see how different the movie is from our regular bollywood movies. i must say kites is a nice movie. it failed to entertain our people because of duality of our people they complain there is no movie without masala and if someone makes they have problems with that.
grow up people and watch KITES FOR ITS TRUE FEELING.. LOVELY CINEMATOGRAPHY and HRITHIK'S ACTING
Oh FISH!!! Now i just HAVE to go watch the movie to see hrithik's nipples ROTFLMAO!!!
What is this Khamba ji...such comments even after Hrithik told Ornob a zillion and one times that this was a Honest movie! tsk tsk.
If it helps even Ornob (of Goswami fame) hasnt watched it!!
btw how about a comic on Ornob questioning hrithik about the Milano/reliance/hide&seek adds?
This is pretty interesting !! I never knew that this was going on between @khamba and @debopriyo :) pretty intense !! huh ?! By the way we were also sharing our own round of words too..
I am including that here.. and @khamba since it is your blog, if you are not happy with the following posts, delete it bro ! and I'm no blogger or writer, just a occasional piece or two.I was inspired by your take on "kites", thereby posting some of mine too..
Continued here...
http://suvayan.blogspot.com/2010/05/continued.html
Hi you are awesome, i didn't know about your blog much, yeah i knw how insulated could I be. Anyways better late then never. I had also written an article about Kites:
http://preposterourviews.blogspot.com/2010/05/kites-patangein.html
Check it out. I am sure you will have something to say.:D
This post of yours is awesome, actually better than mine. I strive to beat you :D.
"Sarcasam is not the lowest form of wit its the basic one"
I can summarize what happened in the movie in one sentence: "Khaya piya kuch nahi, glass toda, barah aana". I mean Hrithik's character is really lowly - he starts dating Kangana only when he finds our she is rich and then tries to seduce his gf's would be sis-in-law. Then he gets so many policemen killed besides his friend 'Jamaal', his India friend. Leaves a fellow Indian in middle of the desert etc etc. I say he is the villian in the movie. In the end, he gets to sleep with teh beauty only once and then she dies and then he kills himself. Good ending I say.
Bandiyon ke chakkar mein naa hi pado to accha hai. Nahin to jaan se haath dhona padega.
Lol! Good post. I am now convinced Arizona passed the immigration law after seeing this movie. :)